That's My Body
by dethlypoison
Summary: Rated T for profane language. It all started with a bet. Probably. Now they've switched bodies and Jou doesn't want to leave.


A body swap fic, mostly narrated by Honda Hiroto.

I've had this idea in my head for a few years now. I'm sure it's been done before but I've decided to write it anyway! Please let me know if you would like to read more!

 **Chapter One**

It all started with a bet. Probably.

It wasn't a literal bet, see, just a bunch of words thrown around in the heat of an argument between my best friend, Jounouchi, and the only person he ever really argues with: Kaiba Seto.

If you don't live around here he's the guy who owns that gigantic KaibaCorp building, and probably everything else around here, too. Everyone thinks he's a jerk, and most of them are right, but after all of this… Actually, no, still a complete jerk.

Anyway, they were at the back of our highschool classroom. I can barely remember how it started, seeing as how they always argue (even to this day) and all of the arguments have sort of meshed into one, large feud, fuelled by a latent homosexual attraction. Well, the last part is just my opinion but valid nonetheless.

Anyway, I assume it went down something like this:

"You rich snob,"

"You third-rate duelist,"

"You don't know me,"

"You don't know me, either,"

"Yeah? 'Cause it's sooo hard being a rich snob,"

"Yes, it is. You wouldn't last a month in my shoes,"

Thinking about it, that is almost exactly how it went down, although the exchange was a lot more amusing than I remember, I'm sure. One thing I do remember perfectly though, is what happened after the exchange of words.

They both returned to their seats, they both took a drink of their water bottles, and they both let out a cough. They both stood up, met in the middle of the room, and resumed arguing. In unison. I repeat, in unison, complete sync!

It was really weird, but I didn't think much about it. Apparently their water bottles had switched at some point. Of course, Jounouchi thought Kaiba did it, and Kaiba thought Jounouchi did it, and so they just kept arguing. Neither of them were right, however, since it was actually a different guy who did, but more on that later.

It only got really weird at the end of the day. I was walking out with Jou and all of our friends when suddenly Jounouchi fell to his knees and started pulling at his hair like he had gone mad.

"It feels like my head's exploding," he said from down on the ground.

We helped him up but it seemed like he had no strength in his legs. Then he began to babble incoherently.

"Where am I? What's going on? Mokuba?"

Just total nonsense. I ended up having to walk him all the way home. He even missed work because the pain was so bad. I was really worried, but I had to leave when his dad got home. Old guy's definitely got a screw or two loose, always banging or breaking stuff and making really weird jokes. I felt bad for Jou but I didn't really think anything was wrong. Just a really bad migraine or something, you know?

Boy, was I wrong.

The next morning I woke up to a bunch of texts and calls. I saved them all, even until now, just so I could let you see it.

Unknown number:

5:30 am: im freeeeeeaking out

5:30 am: its jou btw

5:31 am: wake up asshole im stuck in kaibas body and using his fingers is freaking me out

5:46 am: … u don't believe me do u…

5:46 am: (sent an image attatchment) WOULD KAIBA SEND U A PICTURE OF HIMSELF?!

5:50 am: omg man I have to pee I dont wanna pee with kaibas fucking dick

5:51 am: wake UP!!!!

5:56 am: i did it… i went pee… there is no god… only hell

6:00 am: help me man no ones responding and idk what to do!

6:15 am: ur fucking useless u blanket ass im gonna go find mokuba

Obviously I thought it was some kind of horrible joke… but the picture of Kaiba in pajamas was pretty strange. So I called Jounouchi, who answered on the first ring… or well, you'll see…

"... Hello?"

I was so thankful to hear Jounouchi's voice. "Dude, someone sent me these weird messages saying they were you."

"Who did?!"

"Uh, well… I don't know. But they were saying you woke up in–"

"In MY body!"

"Uh, no, man, in Kaiba's body. They even sent a picture of him."

"You moron! That's my body! I'm stuck in Jounouchi's!"

I'll be honest. I still wasn't convinced. The voice on the other end was definitely Jou's. I thought it was just some elaborate joke Jounouchi was pulling. How he ever managed to get Kaiba in on it, though, was beyond me.

"Okay, Jou, ha ha. See? Now cut the crap."

There was a low growl on the other end of the phone. "I'm not joking. I'm Kaiba! Now, please, kindly message the idiot with my phone and tell him to accept these calls!"

Then the line went dead. I shrugged and figured I'd just go along with the joke if that's what Jou wanted. So I sent the unknown number a message saying to accept the calls. My phone rang instead.

It was Kaiba. Well, Jounouchi. Oh, gods, it's already confusing to write. Anyways, that conversation went down like this:

"Hello?"

The answer I got was a whisper. Which was really creepy since it was Kaiba's voice. "Hey, Honda," it whispered.

"... Kaiba?"

"Pretty much," was the quiet reply.

"You're in on the joke, too?"

"A joke? There's a joke? Thank god, tell me what it is cause I'm getting really desperate."

"Uh… I don't know what it is but it needs to stop."

Kaiba's voice had gotten pretty manical sounding by this point. "You're telling me. Pretending to be Kaiba is tedious. But also kinda great once you get past the… that's not my dick thing. I think I'm gonna eat caviar for breakfast."

"Huh?"

"Oh, shut up. I'm gonna take Kaiba's call, and tell him he's not getting his body back."

Then, whoever it was hung up and I was left in the silence of my own room.

A part of me was trying to believe it. Weird things happen all the time after all, like giant monsters, and virtual reality worlds. I think I even pinched myself that day. Like I said earlier though, I was wrong.

They really had switched bodies. And the worst part was, Jou was serious. Kaiba really didn't get his body back. Not for a while, anyway.


End file.
